Killing Of A Hope

I followed the news channels and newspapers over 3-4 days and there were numerous of news which left me miffed. I do not generally involve myself in going through what’s all happening in my country because my heart is afraid of and can’t take anymore these descriptions of rapes, murders, fraud and vandalism. But they come to you anyhow to annoy you, disturb you, haunt you and leave your mind in a state of paranoia. No one knows whats happening out here. You are never sure about the things which may happen to you.  Look around yourself and see what this world has turned into. Never a peaceful place was this world, it has gone more clamorous.

I remember this instance from my childhood. My father used to read newspaper very minutely. He would read every peace of news every time. And when he would finish, I would grab it and check what was so important out there which kept him so indulged. I would find only useless rubbish things –  partly because I kept myself off from politics and big write-ups and partly because I used to find the small news interesting. One day I asked him –
“What do you read the newspaper for?”
“To know whats all happening.”
“But I only find news of theft and fraud and land disputes. They disturb me a lot. Don’t you get disturbed? What else do you find there which I do not?”
“Did you check out about the new Dam Project? The central government has approved it and soon it is going to do wonders to many people. Won’t they be happy? Do not you think it’s a great news?”
“No. I think I missed it. I shall check it again.”
“I knew you would never read those things or let me rephrase my words – you would never find such things interesting. Son, there are always some bad things happening around you, creating frictions in your mind, deviating you from real pleasures of this world. But that does not mean you start loosing hope. Hope is what drives this world, will always be the most important factor for the mankind to sustain. Whenever you are surrounded by the clouds of grief and dismay, hope is the only thing you can count on.”
“But does not hope weaken you?”
“How can it do so?”
“Let’s say you only hope and hope for something to get better, for example – this society to get better. And you know it never is going to be. In that case your hope is bringing you nothing. Is it?”
“What would say about those poor villagers who got today the news about Dam Project approval? They were also hoping. They were hoping that if something be done and the floods never strike. They were hoping if they were not turned to homeless refugees by the flood. Hoping that their crops were never destroyed. Hoping that they would even for once get to see what electricity looks like. Now did this hope weaken them? “
“No. Not at all.”
“You know many people take this hope thing wrongly. Hope is not presuming that a thing is going to happen for sure. It is rather convincing the heart that the thing may happen and be prepared for it. You may have to celebrate or may have to feel bad. But you never win or lose when you hope. Do you try doing something when you hope for something? No, because you have tried doing all you could and now it’s the time to just sit and wait. So there stands no chances of winning or losing. You write an exam and then you hope that you get good grades. You do not appear for the same exam for many a times to get good grades, that would be a such a flop case.”
“Yes, I get it.”

Do I hope for anything now? Do I ever convince my heart that things are going to get better? Not at all. This country of mine has turned into a rat-hole. But it used to be something different till when I was a child. Now when I compare today’s condition with that of 12-13 years old, I find myself very tormented. This ain’t the same world which my father had then promised me it would be. Everything is totally preposterous. There is this air of angst in which I am suffocating. Nothing can be done now. No reform, no rebel, no riot nothing can help. You can not do anything but just sit back and rue the day you were born and let this whole craziness eat you up.